Why is it so hard to discipline our kids?
The other day, I watched as a mom friend told her son to stop doing something. He didn't stop, and it was obvious to me that action was required on her part. I am pretty sure that she realized that she needed to discipline her son as well, but she decided that it was just easier to ignore the behavior. Now, maybe her reasoning was that she had company and didn't want to ruin the fun; I don't know, and I'm not judging her - I've done the same thing many a time. It made me wonder how many times I have chosen to ignore an undesirable behavior instead of taking time to address it right away.
So often I would rather just ignore the behavior of my kids. It isn't really hurting anyone, right? Wrong. It is hurting my kids. By ignoring misbehavior, I am telling my kids that it is okay to misbehave. I have seen my daughter look at me as she does something she thinks might be wrong. She is wanting to know if I'm going to stop her, or if I'm going to let her continue.
Ignoring bad behavior is the same as condoning it. Plato said, "I shall assume your silence gives consent." If we teach our children to ignore bad behavior now, will they speak up as adults when they see wrongs done? By addressing bad behavior in our children now, we are also teaching them to address wrongs when they see them.
As hard as it is to discipline our kids right away, we do them a huge disservice when we don't. The Bible says a few times that the Lord disciplines those he loves. If we love our children, we will discipline them when they are doing wrong, when they are sinning. My job as a mom is to raise my children to be responsible adults, and responsible adults speak up when something is amiss.
I love my kids dearly. Yet, sometimes it is so hard to do the right thing and discipline them when they need it. I am going to challenge myself to address the issues right away with my kids. Will you join me on that challenge?
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Time-Warp Wife
A Little R & R
This is such an important post and lesson. A while back ago we made this mistake with our oldest. In our defense we were tired, I have 2 two years and under. We moved. It was stressful. My husband works shifts and most often 7 days a week. Oh - I had a truck load of excuses as to why I was too tired to discipline. And the results were really obvious.
ReplyDeleteI had always said I wanted well-behaved, obedient children. Well, they don't catch that by osmosis. My parents came to visit (from America - so it was a long visit) and I was embarrassed. I wasn't raised the way my son was behaving. I talked with my mom and she gave me some good advice.
We started disciplining the first time every time. And within less than a month his behavior turned right around. Sure, we have our moments - he is only 2 after all - but they are rare now. And we have a lot more peace in our home.
I always say - it is easier to engage in a conflict over candy before bedtime or jumping on the bed, than bad company, smoking, drinking, drugs or immoral behavior. Because when it reaches that stage it is almost too late!
Thank you for linking up at Weekend Link Up Party. Sadly it is being put on hold for now so I can spend more time with my family. But I hope to see you around the blog hops.