Worth More Than Rubies

WWYouD?

2012-01-27T12:59:00.000-08:00

In a few weeks, my husband will be taking the kids on a trip. During that time I am going to have one entire day to myself: no kids, no appointments, no husband, no place I need to be, no responsibilities (the other days are already claimed by something). This will be the first time in almost five years that I have had a day absolutely to myself! You would think ideas would be flooding through my head on what I could do. There are things I need to do while everyone else is gone, and I plan on getting them done before my "free" day so I can have a free day! However, I have no idea what to do!

So...

What would you do with a day that is completely free from responsibility?

It Would Be Easier To Quit

2012-01-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

When you are training a dog, one of the first things you learn is that you need to be consistent. You have to give the same command over and over again and see that the command is obeyed. When you tell the dog to sit, you make sure the dog sits, even if you have to physically sit the dog down.

It is no different with our children. If you tell your child to sit down, make sure she obeys, even if you have to physically make her obey. But, if you tell her to sit, and she doesn't, and you just ignore the disobedience, you are telling your child that you don't expect obedience out of her.

This can be very wearying. Consistency is not always easy, and sometimes it is one of the more difficult concepts to get through my parent brain. It would be so much easier for me to just ignore the slight disobedience and move on with what I am doing. But that is doing a HUGE disservice to my child, and to me. Children thrive in an environment where they know the rules, and when the rules are enforced with consistency.

Another thing I have noticed: when I am not consistent, the bad behavior escalates to a point of extreme frustration; both on my part and on that of my child. If I do not address a bad behavior when it occurs, the next action is a little more blatant, and the next, until the child is out of control. Children do not always have the ability to stop themselves, they lack self-control, which is why God gives them parents who do have self-control.

I encourage you (and myself) to do yourself and your children a favor by always being consistent in your 1) expectations of them and 2) discipline of them. It will go a long way in helping your (my) kids become responsible adults one day.

On the window sill above my sink is my little piece of happiness and a reminder to be patient and consistent.

Lactose-Free Yogurt

2012-01-25T13:45:00.000-08:00

When yogurt is made this way, it will have no lactose. I choose to use whole milk because it is not as tart as a lesser fat milk, but you can use anything from skim to whole milk to make the yogurt. Do not use a lactose free milk. The yogurt will "eat" all of the lactose during the fermentation process.

I've adapted this from Breaking the Vicious Cycle by Elaine Gottschall (Elaine was a biochemist who specialized in researching how sugar is digested at the cellular level and how food affects the functioning of the digestive tract). The directions are for use in a yogurt maker. I use a Yo'Gourmet brand yogurt maker. Any yogurt maker that will keep the yogurt at a steady 100 - 110 degrees F will work.

Directions for lactose-free yogurt:

1. Bring 4 cups of milk to the simmer stage and remove it from heat. Stir often to prevent burning.

2. Cover and cool until it has reached room temperature (may be placed in refrigerator or another pot of cold water to hasten cooling). It is important you allow the temperature to drop or you will kill the bacterial culture you are about to introduce.

3. Remove about 1/2 cup of cooled milk and make a paste with 1/4 cup good quality commercial yogurt. Buy yogurt that contains only milk, milk solids, and bacterial culture.

4. Mix the paste with the remainder of the cooled milk and stir thoroughly.

5. Pour milk into yogurt maker and let ferment at 100 - 110 degrees F for at least 24 hours. If you forget to remove it after 24 hours, the fermentation will just continue making it even better. Do not let the fermentation time be less than 24 hours; this should supersede any instructions that come with the yogurt maker. This will insure that all of the lactose is completely digested by the bacterial culture.

6. Remove from heat and refrigerate.

"While this yogurt may not be as thick as commercial yogurt, it will be true yogurt since virtually all of the lactose has been digested by the bacterial culture and further lactose digestion will not be required by intestinal cells." From the book Breaking the Vicious Cycle.

Notes:
If it is not as thick as you desire, you can drip the yogurt. I put a paper towel in a sieve and place it on a large bowl. I then pour the yogurt into the paper towel and let it drip until it is the desired consistency.

You should use commercially made yogurt as a starter every time. Saving yogurt from a previous batch you have made will not have the same high levels of live bacteria that the manufacturer uses. You can also buy starter bacteria, but commercial yogurt is just as beneficial (and may be cheaper).

If you want more information on how the yogurt is made, alternatives to a yogurt maker, or the science behind making yogurt, please pick up the book, Breaking the Vicious Cycle.

Please Stop Peeing On My Floor

2012-01-24T06:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, fellow moms and dads, I need some help here. My almost 5 year old boy used to be really good about aiming into the toilet. I rarely had a mess to clean up. But lately, I've been noticing that there has been some over-shooting. And it's getting worse. Today I noticed that my toilet brush holder has rusted and left a nice rust mark on the floor. At first I was a little confused; I've had it for seven years and never had a problem with the metal bottom. Then I got a whiff and realized why it was rusting: my little boy has lost his aim.

Frankly, he's become lazy. We have a little sticker in the toilet that was supposed to encourage aiming, but I'm thinking it has lost it's novelty. He has become experienced (in his mind) and just doesn't pay attention to what he is doing.

So...

How do you get a boy who used to have great aim start paying attention again?

Monday's Meal: Grilled Cheese

2012-01-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah, everyone knows how to make a grilled cheese sandwich, right? Here's just another way to make one that my kids love.

I usually use shredded cheddar cheese, frozen spinach, thyme or basil, garlic salt and olive oil on two slices of whole wheat bread.

I start by crumbling an herb on the bread and sprinkling a little bit of garlic salt. Then I chop the frozen spinach up in a hand chopper and spread it. Next comes the cheese and then the other slice of bread.

I use a George Foreman Grill to make the sandwiches and spray the grill with the olive oil. Flip the sandwich once and it is done. If I have a flavored oil, I will use that instead of the plain olive oil.

My kids love this so much that my son refuses to eat restaurant grilled cheese because 1) it's on white bread and 2) it doesn't have the green stuff.

These are so gourmet, in fact, that my husband thinks they make a great meal with a bowl of soup.

My Mother's Heart

2012-01-19T07:03:00.000-08:00

Why is being a mom sometimes so hard? There are many reasons that parenting is a difficult job, but I think the hardest part for a mom is that so much of parenting requires us to go against our mother's heart. What is that, you ask? My mother's heart wants to protect my children from all harm, from evil, from hurt, from emotional and physical pain, from any sort of hardship. My mother's heart wants to give my children love and comfort all day long.

Unfortunately, I often have to go against my mother's heart and give my children what they need instead of what they want. A simple example is the stove. My daughter wants to touch the hot pan on the stove, but no mother is going to let her do what she wants at that moment; instead, we tell her "HOT! No touching!" Maybe she cries because she doesn't get to touch, but we know that is best for her, even though she doesn't realize it.

My daughter has a bad habit of slamming doors shut. She has hurt every single person in this family by doing so. Every time she slams a door shut, she has a consequence, and she knows this very well, yet, she continues to disobey and slam doors on people. My mother's heart would rather just reason with her. My mother's heart tells me that she just needs more love and gentle guidance to understand that she is hurting other people by slamming doors on them. However, my mother's heart is wrong, and as much as I hate going against it, I have to in order to teach my daughter that her "fun" is causing other people pain, and that is not acceptable. Sometimes that lesson is painful for both of us, but it is necessary in order to train her to be a responsible adult.

If my husband is home, I ask him what I should do if I am doubting. If he isn't home, I pray. And I always get an answer (though not necessarily the answer I want!). Because, even though my mother's heart wants to just ignore a behavior or give a mild consequence, my mother's head knows that I need to do what is best for my children in the long run. I have to remember, I am raising my children to be responsible adults, not irresponsible children.

Don't be afraid to go against your mother's heart when it is necessary.

Saving with Laundry

2012-01-18T12:13:00.000-08:00

I am always trying to save money. I look back at my grandmother's generation and they saved everything, because they had to. We live in a disposable generation and don't try to get every use out of something that we can.

Here are a few ideas in the laundry area on how to save:

1. Re-use fabric softener sheets.
First off, you can cut the dryer sheets in half. They still work the same, and you get twice as many for the same price.

The used half-sheets can double as dusters. They wipe the dust and "polish" at the same time.

I also take one of the used dryer sheets and put it in the diaper pail. It helps keep the smell down.

2. Hang clothes to dry.
Seems simple enough, right? I don't have room in my house or in my backyard to hang clothes (we have a townhouse). Every once in a while when there are only a few items in the washer that need drying, I will hang everything up in the bathroom.

One of my friends hangs all her clothes to dry. She puts them right on the hangers in the morning and the next morning they are ready to be put away in the closets.

3. Do multiple loads at once.
When you dry a few loads one right after the other, it saves a little money and time because the dryer is already heated up. However, I like to do one load a day and so this doesn't happen for me very often.

4. Do laundry at night.
Okay, this doesn't actually save YOU any money, but it does cut down on the energy being produced at the plants during the day, when most of our energy is being used. That's why it's green. :)

5. Make your own laundry detergent.
I've been making my own detergent for about a year now. It's really easy, and really cheap, yet works as good as the stuff you buy. There are many options for making your detergent. Here are a few links for you to get started:
Liquid Detergent
Powder Detergent
The Lazy Method - which is what I use. :)
Borax Free Alternatives

Revision: A friend let me know that you can save money by washing at night if you call your electric company and have them switch your plan to a time-of-day usage plan.

Embarrassingly Consistent

2012-01-17T07:25:00.000-08:00

The other day I'm shopping in Target and my kids are having real attitude problems, they are both being defiant and rude and disrespectful to me. Finally, in the cleaning aisle, I stop the cart and lean forward and in a quiet and controlled voice tell them both, "This is going to stop, NOW. You both are being disrespectful and it is not going to continue any more." At this point in my lecture, an older lady is walking down the aisle looking for some Lysol. I ignore the embarrassment creeping into my cheeks and continue saying, "You two need to straighten up your attitudes right now or there will be consequences." I finish my speech with two humbled children and make eye contact with the lady as we walk by. She smiles and mouths to me, "You are a good mom!" I laugh uncomfortably and say thanks. Her encouragement gave me the confidence to continue to keep my kids in line, when I felt like giving up.

I'm so glad she didn't say something trite like, "Oh, some day you're going to look back on this moment and enjoy it." Because, you know, at that moment, I don't really care about how I'm going to reflect on this moment. All I care about is being consistent with my kids and getting through the day without losing it.

Parenting is hard, there is no doubt about it. And sometimes it is embarrassing to be the consistent parent I know I need to be. But I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Monday's Meal: Easy Chicken Tortilla Soup

2012-01-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just don't have a lot of time to cook. Here is a quick recipe that is filling and good. There are certain ingredients I try to keep on hand to make a quick meal; this is one of my family's favorite last minute meals.

Easy Chicken Tortilla Soup - by Vinae, serves 3.

1 box V8 Southwestern Corn
1/4 box V8 Sweet Red Pepper - I freeze the rest in ice cube trays
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup cooked chicken pieces
(on occasion, I also throw in a handful of frozen peas)

Heat all of the above ingredients together. Top soup with:
4 tortillas cut into strips, fried in vegetable oil until crisp, or corn tortilla chips.

Ministering to Women

2012-01-14T07:54:00.000-08:00

I have always had a heart for ministering to women. As I have grown up, the women I want to work with have also matured, from at first pre-teens, then high school, then college students. Now, I would really like to help women who have a baby at home. I can sympathize with them and offer support, even if just by giving them a meal.

A friend of mine was having a hard day with her newborn and 18 month old. I wished I could go over and help her out for an hour or so, but I didn't feel like I could add two little kids to the mix. My youngest was napping at the time as well. I wondered how I could be of help to other women in my same stage of life, if I was stuck at home?

While I was thinking about how I could help my friends more, I had an epiphany about my kids schooling. Weird, right? How does my kids' schooling (which is at least a year away) relate to my helping moms? I have been thinking and praying about whether to home school or not. It has not been foremost on my mind, but all of a sudden, I thought, if my children are in public school, I will have more time to minister to women.

I'm still not sure how my kids will be schooled. I am sure of this, though: I can minister to women in many ways. I don't have to be stuck at home with my children, I can involve them as well. I am still praying about ways I can help the women around me. Suggestions are always welcome.

Rainbow Food

2012-01-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I have trouble getting DS to actually want to come to the table to eat his food, especially if he is outside playing in the sand. I made him a rainbow the other day and he loved it. He looked at it and said, "You made me a rainbow house, Mommy!" I guess the olives looked more like a door than the purple part of the rainbow. Well, I ran out of blueberries, so I needed something dark.

Out Of Control

2012-01-12T12:54:00.000-08:00

I feel like everything is out of control right now.

The kids attitudes seem to be out of control; from being extremely whiny to having full on temper tantrums, to talking back and making rude comments. Not to mention any outright disobedience that is taking place.

I feel like I can't keep my temper under control and my patience was lost a few miles back.

My house is a total disaster. I can't seem to keep up with the laundry or the dishes.

And those are just the thing I should be able to have control over. Then there are the extenuating circumstances that are in limbo. The not-knowing makes me jittery.

At the moment, the kids are playing very nicely together with cars and everything is peaceful, therefore, giving me a moment to write my thoughts.

I realize I can solve some of my out-of-control-ness by 1) paying attention to the kids needs: hunger, sleep, etc and more importantly, 2) paying attention to my needs: Bible devotions, prayer, food.

Isaiah 26:3 (ISV) You will keep perfectly peaceful the one whose mind remains focused on you, because he remains in you.

When I am willing to keep my mind focused on God, and abide in Him, I will have peace. I need some peace right now. Which means, for me, I need to do my devotions and just spend some time focusing on God, instead of focusing on everything that is out of control. Then, maybe I can get a few loads of laundry done.

Continue On

2012-01-10T07:16:00.000-08:00

Continue On
by Roy Lessin

A woman fretted over the usefulness of her life.
She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.
She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference.
At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.
"Is it worth it?" she often wondered. "Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"
It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard the still, small voice of her Heavenly Father speak to her heart.
"You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be.
Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye, but I notice.
Most of what you give is done without remuneration.
But I am your reward.
Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support.
Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know.
I bless him through your service and honor him through your love.
Your children are precious to me.
Even more precious than they are to you.
I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me.
What you invest in them is an offering to Me.
You may never be in the public spotlight, but your obedience shines as a bright light before Me.
Continue on. Remember you are My servant.
Do all to please Me."

Praying for my Children

2012-01-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

I believe that prayer is very important. I try to start off every day reading Scripture and praying. Here are 31 ways to pray for your kids - one for each day of the month. Insert your children's names where it says children.

1 - Salvation: "Lord, let salvation spring up within (my children), that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." (Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10)

2 - Growth in grace: "I pray that (my children) may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:18)

3 - Love: "Grant, Lord, that (my children) may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them." (Ephesians 5:2, Galatians 5:22)

4 - Honesty and integrity: "May integrity and honesty be (my children's) virtue and their protection." (Psalm 25:21)

5 - Self-control: "Father, help (my children) not to be like many others around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled in all they do." (1 Thessalonians 5:6)

6 - A love for God's Word: "May (my children) grow to find your Word more precious than gold, than much pure gold; and sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb." (Psalm 19:10)

7 - Justice: "God, help (my children) to love justice as you do and to act justly in all they do." (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8)

8 - Mercy: "May (my children) always be merciful, as their Father is merciful." (Luke 6:36)

9 - Respect (for self, others, authority): "Father, grant that (my children) may show proper respect to everyone, as your Word commands." (1 Peter 2:17a)

10 - Strong, Biblical self-esteem: "Help (my children) develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus." (Ephesians 2:10)

11 - Faithfulness: "Let love and faithfulness never leave (my children), but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts." (Proverbs 3:3)

12 - Courage: "May (my children) always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

13 - Purity: "Create in (my children) a pure heart, O God, and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions." (Psalm 51:10)

14 - Kindness: "Lord, may (my children) always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." (1 Thessalonians 5:15)

15 - Generosity: "Grant that (my children) may be generous and willing to share and so lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age." (1 Timothy 6:18-19)

16 - Peace, peaceability: "Father, let (my children) make every effort to do what leads to peace." (Romans 14:19)

17 - Joy: "May (my children) be filled with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." (1 Thessalonians 1:6)

18 - Perseverance: "Lord, teach (my children) perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to run with perseverance the race marked out for them." (Hebrews 12:1)

19 - Humility: "God, please cultivate in (my children) the ability to show true humility toward all." (Titus 3:2)

20 - Compassion: "Lord, please clothe (my children) with the virtue of compassion." (Colossians 3:12)

21 - Responsibility: "Grant that (my children) may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load." (Galatians 6:5)

22 - Contentment: "Father, teach (my children) the secret of being content in any and every situation through Him who gives them strength." (Philippians 4:12-13)

23 - Faith: "I pray that faith will find root and grow in (my children's) hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them." (Luke 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40)

24 - A servant heart: "God, please help (my children) develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, as to the Lord, and not to men." (Ephesians 6:7)

25 - Hope: "May the God of hope grant that (my children) may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

26 - The willingness and ability to work hard: "Teach (my children), Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, as working for the Lord, not for men." (Colossians 3:23)

27 - A passion for God: "Lord, please instill in (my children) a soul that follows hard after You, a heart that clings passionately to you." (Psalm 63:8)

28 - Self-discipline: "Father, I pray that (my children) may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair." (Proverbs 1:3)

29 - Prayerfulness: "Grant, Lord, that (my children's) lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests." (Ephesians 6:18)

30 - Gratitude: "Help (my children) to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Colossians 2:7, Ephesians 5:20)

31 - A heart for missions: "Lord, please help (my children) to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples." (Psalm 96:3)

Last of the Tube

2012-01-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

I saw a tip recently on how to get the most for your money out of tubes - like of toothpaste.

I use a special topical ointment that is expensive, and hate throwing away the tube if I haven't gotten everything out of it. So I've always used a "toothpaste flattener" to squeeze the last of the ointment out of the tube. Well, yesterday I saw another tip: cut the bottom of the tube off. I wonder why I never thought of that before!

I had six tubes of the ointment that needed to be squeezed out. After I flattened them and squeezed them, I cut the tube about an inch from the lid. I was amazed to see how much I could still scoop out! After scooping the remaining ointment out of the six tubes, I had almost as much as a whole new tube! That saved me almost $15.00 (I said the ointment is expensive)!

Again, I don't know why I never thought of cutting the tube before. This will work for anything that has a squeezable tube.

Who's Character am I Working On?

2012-01-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel as if you are failing as a mom? I do. I try to teach my kids character, but the message doesn't seem to get across to them. I try to get them to obey the rules, to listen the first time I tell them something, to be gentle and considerate of others. I feel like I'm not making much process in that endeavour. Of course, my kids are still very young.

My cousin set me on this article, Parenting 001, by Kevin DeYoung. One key sentence stood out to me: "They will see our character before they remember our exact rules regarding television and Twinkies."

Am I working on my character as much as I am working on the character of my children? Lately, God has been really showing me that if I want my children to be compassionate, I need to be compassionate. If I want my children to love others, I need to love others.

Children learn by example, not by my telling them what to do. Lord, help me be the person I want my children to be.

Shiny Sink

2012-01-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

I try to do what FlyLady says about keeping your kitchen sink shiny. My sink is not always shiny. In fact, this morning, it had a lot of leftover food in it from last night. Disgusting.

So, this morning, I shined my sink. I shoved everything down the disposal and then took my trusty scrubber and got rid of all the gunk in the sink. Presto! I have a shiny sink.

Now, some people like to keep all of their dish washing implements under the sink, or else in a soggy mess on the counter. Neither seemed like a good option to me. So I re-purposed a shiny metal planter that I have no love for. I had my husband drill a few holes in the bottom for drainage and put some plastic "feet" on the bottom. Now I have a pretty container to hold the items I use the most at the sink: my scrubber and a toothbrush.

Toothbrush? Yes. I use it to get rid of the grime that collects around the faucet. Works really well!

So, while my sink is not always shiny, I at least have the means of doing it at my fingertips.

Mommy Encouragement

2012-01-04T08:41:00.000-08:00

As I struggle along in my motherhood, I often rely on the older women to teach me how to be a mom. I am blessed that the older women in my church teach the younger women how to love their husbands and love their children. I have drawn so much from them, especially in the last few weeks.

I found this blog post, Motherhood, by Ann Dunagan, on Passionate Homemaking and loved the advice of the older woman. If she had only five tips to give a mom, this is what she would say:

1. Be confident in God's calling.
2. Be consistent.
3. Guard the gates of your home.
4. Mother by faith, not by fear.
5. Rely on God's grace.

The last one spoke to me. I need to rely on God's grace every day to help me speak gently to my children, to not loose my temper with them, to demonstrate the Godly character I want to build in my kids, to just get me through the day.

I hope this encourages you in your walk with God, and in your mommy-hood.

Don't Grow Weary

2012-01-03T20:37:00.000-08:00

Galatians 6:9-10 says, And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

This spoke to my mommy heart. I often grow weary of doing the same thing day in and day out. Telling my children over and over how to obey and do good. Cleaning the same dishes, the same dirty clothes, sweeping the same dirt every day.

As a mom, I can easily weary of blessing my household of faith with good things. But this verse promises that in due time, I will see the fruits of my labors, as long as I don't give up. What a blessing it will be in the future to see that my children walk in truth (3 John 4).

I hope this encourages you to keep on doing good in your home. To not weary of the dailies. To be consistent in your discipline (both yours and your children's). To remember that the blessing we will reap in the future need to be planted today.

Monday's Meal: Chicken Stock

2012-01-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

I like to make my own chicken stock. Everytime I do, I use this recipe from Passionate Homemaking. I've started using my crock pot to make the stock, it works well for me. I freeze the stock in 2-cup freezer bags. Most of my recipes call for 2 cups of stock and it thaws quickly in that measurement.

Every so often I can buy a chicken for $0.88 per pound, and then I try to stock up and freeze one or two. It is easier to roast a chicken than I thought. I encourage you to try it at least once and see how easy it can be!

Royal Icing

2011-12-20T10:40:00.000-08:00

I can't remember where I got this recipe, but it is off of the internet.

2 cups powdered sugar
4 tsp meringue powder
3 Tbsp cold water
2-3 drops almond or vanilla extract (optional) [we haven't used any extract, and like the flavor]

Sift the powdered sugar into mixer bowl. Combine sugar with meringue powder until well mixed, stir in water. Beat on low speed until ingredients are moistened, about 30 seconds. Increase mixer speed to med/high and beat for 5-8 minutes until icing is stiff.

I separated the icing into two bags and colored them yellow and red.

I drew lines of different colors.

Then spread the frosting around, mixing the colors, or not mixing them. Each leaf was different.

Then I used the edge of the froster to make the vein lines.

Finished leaf.

Each leaf is unique, just like real leaves. It took some experimenting, but the final product turned out great!

Spreadable Butter

2011-12-17T15:44:00.000-08:00

I like using butter instead of margarine (I already put enough chemicals in my body in the form of medication, why add more in the form of food??), but butter takes forever to soften enough to spread. I had been buying the spreadable butter at the store, but hated the price. I remembered years ago my mom made these huge batches of spreadable butter, but I knew I would never go through that much before it spoiled. Then my dad started making it again, and this time it's in smaller batches. I make mine one stick at a time, and usually make it once a month. A few people have recently asked for my spreadable butter recipe, so here it is!

1 stick unsalted butter
1/3 cup oil
1/2 tsp salt (optional)

I cut the butter straight into the food processor and let it sit until it softens up. When it is soft, turn on the processor and drizzle the oil in until it is well blended. Pour mixture into a container and refrigerate.

I like to use olive oil because I like the full flavor it gives. I've also realized I don't need salt when I use the olive oil.

My Dad's note: I make mine in a bowl using a hand mixer. I found I needed to grind the salt in a pestle to make it fine. Some recipes call for a small amount of water but I prefer just the olive oil.....although quite frankly I have never tried it with a tablespoon or so of water...

If you want to serve it at the table with a meal you should put it on ice because in 30 minutes or so it becomes too soft and you will need a spoon instead of a butter knife...

Gingerbread Cookies

2011-12-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

We had huge compliments on these cookies. They are full of Christmas spice flavor are the perfect combination of crunchy and moist. They are easy to use with cookie cutters, and keep very well for at least a week. Tabitha preferred them with frosting on top, and Gibson like them with or without frosting. I love the Triple Ginger Snaps from Trader Joe's - these have the same kick as those cookies do (while being completely different).

This recipe is from the King Arthur Flour Baker's Companion. We have loved every single recipe we've made out of this book, with NO modifications (and that's really saying something for me!).

Cookies:
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup (8 oz) packed brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp allspice
2 tsp ginger
1 tsp cloves
2 tsp cinnamon [we used Vietnamese cinnamon, which is stronger than the normal stuff. Usually you would use less, but we used the full 2 tsp because we like spice!]
1 cup molasses
1 large egg
5 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda dissolved in
1/4 cup water

Cream the butter, brown sugar, salt, and spices together. Add the molasses and egg and mix well. Stir in half of the flour and the soda dissolved in water, mixing until well combined. Add the remaining flour. Depending on the power of your mixer, you may need to add the last bit of flour by hand and knead it in. Divide the dough in half and wrap well. Refrigerate for several hours or overnight. The dough changes over the resting period, making it easier to work with and adding flavor to the cookies.

Preheat the oven to 350.

Work with half the dough at a time on a well floured surface. Roll the dough to 1/4 inch thick. Use cookie cutters to cut the cookies into shapes. [If the dough starts to stick, put it back in the refrigerator for a while to harden up.] Transfer the cookies to ungreased baking sheets, leaving about 1/2 inch between them. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, being careful not to over bake. The cookies will still be soft when done. Let them rest on baking sheet to firm before transferring to a rack to cool.

Pizza Dough

2011-12-06T10:52:00.000-08:00

A few months ago we decided to start making our pizzas from scratch to save money. It turns out that not only are we saving money, but home-made pizza is WAY better than frozen or take-out. After experimenting with about seven or eight different recipes, we discovered that this was, by far, the absolute best recipe for crust. We try to make our crust the night before, that way it has the most flavor.

Pizza Dough from The King Arthur Flour Baker's Companion (a book James and I highly recommend, and I'm not a person who bakes!)

3 c unbleached all purpose flour*
1 tsp instant yeast
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 1/4 to 1 1/2 c water [we've found it helpful if the water is lukewarm]

*The recipe calls for 1 3/4 cup all purpose flour and 1 1/4 cup semolina, but says it is optional. We've done both, and find that the semolina doesn't make much of a difference, especially given the price. Also optional, 2 Tbsp dough relaxer, which we've never used.

Mix and knead together all the dough ingredients - by hand or mixer - until you've created a smooth, soft dough. Don't over knead the dough; it should hold together but look fairly rough on the surface.

Cover and let the dough rise for 45 minutes [I just use a dishcloth to cover it], the refrigerate it for 4 hours, or up to 36 hours; this step will develop the crust's flavor. [We usually try to make it the night before, and it's best that way, but we have made it three hours before, and it is still fine, but better if it can sit]

Divide the dough in half. Shape each half into 9- to 12-inch round (thicker or thinner crust), and place each on a piece of parchment paper cut to fit. [tip: cut the paper after you've put the dough on it!] Cover the dough and let it rest while you heat the oven (and baking stone) to 500 degrees. [We never cover the dough during this step. I highly recommend using a pizza stone, just make sure you place it in the oven BEFORE you turn the heat on. Place the stone on the bottom rack of the oven.]

After about 30 minutes, use a giant spatula or pizza peel to transfer the pizzas and parchment to your hot oven stone; or place the pizzas and parchment on a pan and place on the middle rack of the oven. [We cook one pizza at a time, and use a cookie sheet to place it on the stone. While the next one is cooking, we prepare the toppings of the first one]

Bake for 4 minutes and remove from the oven.

Top the pizza with your favorite toppings and place directly on the lowest rack of the oven (not the stone or pan) for 8 minutes, until crust is golden brown and the filling is bubbly.

My favorite toppings - all amounts vary as to the size of the pizza, and the amounts we have on hand, so use what you are comfortable with.

BBQ Pizza
barbecue sauce
grilled chicken, shredded
cilantro
smoked Gouda cheese slices
a little Parmesan cheese
onion and pepper mix sauteed until browned (I buy a frozen mix and always have at least one bag on hand)
mozzarella cheese

Chicken Alfredo (my absolute fave!!)
Alfredo sauce, topped with fresh ground pepper medley and crumbled dried tarragon
grilled chicken, shredded
Parmesan cheese
onion and pepper mix sauteed until browned
2 slices of cooked bacon, crumbled
mozzarella cheese

Tarragon Alfredo

2011-11-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

While I was typing up my Alfredo pizza recipe for a friend, I got a craving for some Alfredo, so I made up this recipe really quickly from stuff I had on hand. Gibson loved it and asked for more. Tabitha said it was good, but didn't eat any. I really liked it, and that is what counts!

This is how I made it, using up leftovers, but I'm sure if you have a full pasta box and jar of Alfredo, you can make it for at least four.

1/2 box of spinach fettuccine
Boil according to package instructions. Just as the timer beeped, I threw in about a cup of frozen peas, and then quickly drained the pasta.

While pasta is cooking, make sauce:
3/4 jar of Ragu Light Alfredo Sauce
about heaping 2 Tbsp dried tarragon, crumbled in fingers (it was a lot!)
large pinch of cayenne pepper
couple turns of fresh ground pepper medley

Place 2 paper towels on a microwave safe plate. Place 3 strips of bacon on paper towels and top with one more paper towel. Microwave for about 3 minutes. If you haven't done it before, start off at 2 minutes and then by 30 second increments until done to your liking.

When pasta and sauce are done, combine and stir in bacon crumbles. I topped with more fresh ground pepper and grated fresh Parmesan cheese.

This would probably be good with chicken in it, but I didn't have any. Maybe next time.

Taco Casserole

2011-10-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry if you are the type of cook that needs exact measurements. I am a make-it-up-as-you-go type of cook, and therefore hardly ever measure anything. I've tried to give you measurements to the best of my ability. Hopefully it turns out as well for you as it does for me!

Taco Casserole

1 (14 1/2 oz) can kidney beans - drained & rinsed
1 (4 oz) can diced green peppers - drained
1/2 pound ground turkey (or beef)
1 Tbsp grated carrot
dash cinnamon
dash cayenne
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
garlic salt & garlic powder
handful dehydrated onion
handful frozen corn
handful frozen bell pepper & onion mix
3 TBSP diced tomatoes with juice (I use a 14oz can and freeze the rest into ice cube trays for future use)
1 box Trader Joey's cornbread
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Drain the kidney beans and peppers separately.

In a large skillet, put a little oil, and then brown the corn and bell pepper/onion mix. Remove the mix when browned.

Brown the turkey in the skillet along with Tbsp carrot, dash cinnamon, cumin, dash cayenne, chili powder, garlic salt and garlic powder, and a handful of dehydrated onion. If need be, add some water to get the onion fully hydrated.

After turkey is cooked, add 3 TBSP diced tomatoes and cook until liquid has evaporated. Add the corn, bell pepper mix and kidney beans to the meat and warm through.

While that is warming, prepare the cornbread mix as directed, and add the drained diced green peppers and 1 c cheddar cheese.

Put the warmed meat mix in a small oven safe casserole dish and top with about 1/2 inch of the cornbread mixture. Don't use it all, but make sure the meat is covered. Put in 350* oven and cook for 20 minutes. Check and cook until cornbread is done.

Use the rest of the cornbread mix for muffins or a small loaf.

Savory Stuffed Acorn Squash

2011-10-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted a savory stuffed squash that would be filling, so I came up with this recipe today and it was a huge hit.

Start the brown rice an hour before dinner.
1 cup brown rice
2 cups chicken broth (I make my own and don't put salt in it, so I salt to taste)
1 tsp rubbed sage
salt & pepper to taste
Cook covered on stove at low boil for approximately 45 minutes, or until broth is soaked in.

While the rice is cooking, preheat oven to 350* and halve and seed 2 acorn squash. Place the squash cut side down in a baking dish with 1/4" water in the dish. Cook for 30-45 minutes until fork pokes easily.

While these are cooking, peel and chop one apple. When the rice is done, take off of heat, add apple, stir, and cover. I let it sit for about 20 minutes, and this softened the apple a little.

After chopping apple, brown one half pound of ground turkey (if you use beef, make sure to drain any fat). When meat is done, add about 2 tsp dehydrated or fresh onion (if using dehydrated onion, add some water), a pinch of cayenne powder, a little salt & pepper. Cook until onion is transparent.

I browned 1/2 cup of corn in a separate pan, then added it to the turkey mixture after it was done.

When everything is done, mix the rice with the turkey & corn. Taste to see if any salt/pepper need to be added.

Transfer the squash, cut side up, to a dish where they will sit upright without falling over. Do not put water in the dish. Fill the cooked half squashes half way with the rice mix, top with shredded cheddar cheese, then continue to fill to the top with rice mix. Top entire squash with shredded cheddar. Broil on low for a few minutes until the cheese bubbles.

I sprinkled the tops of the finished squash with hot paprika to add some additional heat.

One Step At A Time

2011-05-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

My birthday was yesterday and we were out of the house all day. In getting ready to leave, we made a mess, and now that we are back, there is an even bigger mess. My DH is working, and I'm not feeling well today, so the kids have been able to do pretty much what they want. There are crackers and the dishes the crackers are supposed to be on all over the kitchen floor (some of the crackers have migrated onto the carpet where they are being ground to dust for the "tickle bugs" as my DS calls the tiny beetles).

I am looking at the mess and my un-attended kids, and feeling overwhelmed. Where do I even start? One small piece at a time. I can get my house in order before my DH comes home this evening. If I start now, I might even be able to nap while my kids do. I can do this.

One Step At A Time.

Add to that, my DS informed me he pooped pants. While I was taking care of him in the bathroom, my DD threw a nasty temper tantrum because she wasn't allowed in the bathroom. Sigh.

Stinky Feet Syndrome

2011-03-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

My DS is obsessed with stinky feet.

He takes off his shoes and smells his feet. And then he offers them to anyone nearby to see if they would like a sniff.

Last night, I had DD on my lap while I took off her shoes. DS was standing eagerly by my knees. At first, I didn't quite understand what he was so giddy about. Then I took off the first shoe, which he immediately grabbed out of my hand and stuck his nose in.

I kicked off my shoes the other night and he was at my toes burying his nose in my socks. He asked me if I would like to sniff my feet. I politely declined.

I love the innocence of children, the lack of social pressure. The 'adult' world says it is not couth to smell feet. The child just sees something fun to do and does it. I hope a little of that innocence can rub off on me.

But I'll still leave the foot sniffing to my kids.

At The End

2011-03-19T19:57:00.000-07:00

I screamed today. A fact that I am not very proud of, but feel that I need to confess.

My just-turned-four-year-old sat on my bed, doing his whiny cry, and I stood there and screamed at the top of my lungs. I was so frustrated with him, all I could do was scream. And that was the second time within about five minutes that I screamed.

Now, I did not yell at him, because I know that just makes matters worse (been there, done that), but I did scream out in frustration. He would not stop his whiny, drooly, attitude-ridden, cry. It started when he woke up and had continued on pretty much all day. I was (am) at the end of my rope. So I screamed.

A few minutes later, I apologized for my frustration, and gave him hugs. I also asked him to apologize for his attitudes and I forgave him. I told him that we both needed some time out to have a quiet time and get our attitudes straight.

I meant to pray with him, but somewhere in all of the frustratedness, I forgot. Lord, help me remember next time.

Lately, I have sensed the Lord telling me I need to work on my emotions in regards to my children. I tend to get very irritated at them. I know he wants me to be gentle, kind, compassionate, and patient with my kids. In a word, LOVE. It isn't an easy journey, but every day I feel I am making progress. Except maybe for today. Tomorrow will be better.

Calm in the Storm

2011-03-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

The kids and I went to playgroup today. When it was time to leave, my DS threw a fit, but not over leaving like you might think. He wanted a string cheese.

I gently took his hand and started to lead him out the door when he started hitting me and kicking the wall. When I knelt down to his level to tell him to stop, he hit and kicked and screamed at me until his whole body turned bright red.

I gave my daughter to the other moms and took my DS to the upstairs bathroom. Once in the bathroom, he again started hitting and screaming at me that he wanted a string cheese.

Only by God's grace was I able to remain calm and loving as I held his hands and explained that his attitude and hitting were unacceptable and sinful. He received his spanking, which he knew he deserved. Then he received a big hug, and I got an apology for the attitude and hitting.

He has never acted like that before, but I'm sure it won't be the last time. I am so glad I was prepared in my heart to handle the situation. In a stressful and mortifying situation, I was able to give my DS loving correction with gentleness. I fully believe this is only because of the work God has been doing in my heart lately to be gentle and calm toward my kids.

The Five Minute Difference

2011-02-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

I have always struggled to keep my house in order. Even when I was living with my parents as a young adult, I was hard pressed to keep my room tidy.

The one place that I have really noticed a problem is my master bathroom. Nothing makes you want to clean your toilet like watching your baby crawl towards it. I took a good look at the floor around the toilet and scooped up my daughter fast.

I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning my bathroom. At the end of that time, it was still not spotless (the shower/tub was still needed a good scrubbing), but it was at least baby-presentable. I was a little discouraged. While I had a clean bathroom, I didn't want to spend 30 minutes cleaning it every week. Then I remembered the Fly Lady's philosophy: You can clean your house 15 minutes at a time. While I don't often have 15 kid-free minutes to clean the bathroom, I do have 5 minutes I can spare while the kids entertain themselves in their bedroom.

For the last two weeks, I have kept a timer in my bathroom set to five minutes. It stays on my counter to remind me to clean for five minutes every day. After a week of my quick clean, the bathroom is almost spotless! I'm able to clean different little bits of it every day, even places I would never get to on a 30 minute cleaning spree.

For instance, today, I noticed the toilet paper holder for the first time in months. It was covered with dust. I use it every day, but never seemed to notice the dust collecting on the silver fixtures. It took 30 seconds to wipe it off, and, while my husband likely won't notice, I think it makes the entire bathroom look better. The little things really do make a difference!

Where Would A Third Fit?

2011-02-03T13:12:00.000-08:00

As I sit here, listening to my children playing and laughing together, I think, it would be fun to add another voice to that mix. And then, I think, do I really WANT to add a third child to our family?

This is a question I have been pondering in my spirit for the last few months. I haven't discussed it with my husband at all, because I'm afraid he will not even want to think about having another child. We always discussed having only two kids. We have a boy and a girl, what more could we want? I'm not sure if I want another child, but I am open to the possibility.

If I think about it hard enough, I realize that I do not really enjoy the first year of babyhood. The first three months are the worst for me. The lack of sleep and the crazy hormones, on top of a crying infant, make me irritable and not fun to be around.

While the first year is the most difficult for me, it is also only one year; while it may seem endless at the time, I now can see that there is an end to that. Now that my youngest is 17 months, I am loving the interactions she has with my almost-four-year-old son. I know that when I get past the first year, I will be able to enjoy my children much more, and have the rest of our lives together to enjoy. Wouldn't it be more fun with more family?

Then I think, if we have another child, that is more time I am not able to reach out to other women. But I think I'm thinking about that all wrong. I am not stuck at home with nothing to do. I can always invite people to my house. I'm going off topic here, so I will address that in another post.

I know what my husband would think. Financially we probably can't afford another child. I really should take that into consideration, but I have always felt that God provides when we need it, not when we think we should have it. Adding a third child to our family could really stretch us, not only financially, but emotionally and spiritually, too. I think we need that stretch. I think we need to learn that we need to rely on God and not on what we can provide out of our own resources.

My husband and I have a date night next week. The first in a long time. I know that the Lord is telling me I need to talk to him about what I have been thinking and feeling. I need to work up the courage to be open and honest with him about something I have the feeling he thinks is a closed matter.

Sick Day

2011-02-01T19:57:00.000-08:00

My kids are sick, and I am exhausted. For some reason, when little kids are sick, they wake up a lot at night, and then wake up at their normal time, or earlier. They seem to have as much energy as usual, while I, who lost about 4 hours of sleep, can't manage to keep up with them.

It is horrible when your children are sick enough that they can't go anywhere, but they feel fine and are running around like nothing is wrong with them (in the morning, that is). My DS has asked me the last few days where we are going to go, and I have to answer, "No where." He really wants to go to a park or playgroup, but since he might have pneumonia, we are not going anywhere that is not absolutely necessary.

Evenings are the worst: the fevers go up, the energy goes down, the appetites disappear, and the whining gets worse. Trying to get dinner going with two kids clinging to my legs, literally, is very frustrating.

I'm not looking forward to the rest of my day as exhausted as I am. At least tonight is pizza night!

When I Grow Up . . .

2010-12-05T07:36:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like you are not grown up? Or look at your children and think you are not old enough to have kids? I do. I'm 34 years old and sometimes I still feel like I'm an immature teen playing at being an adult.

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and wondered when I would grow up. When I would feel like an adult. When my life would seem real, and not like I fell down the rabbit hole.

My life is very real. I have bills to pay, children to raise, a house to clean, groceries to buy and a table at which to feed my family. Yet, I still wonder when it will feel real and not like I am playing house.

As we were decorating the house for Christmas, I had a thought that my life seemed kind of surreal. Here I was, all grown up, a house of my own, a husband and two little kids; and yet, I didn't feel like I was an adult.

I'm not sure when I will feel like I've grown up. I'm just going to enjoy each day, especially this Christmas season, where we celebrate the birth of Jesus. I'm enjoying seeing it with fresh eyes, though my children. I need to remember to enjoy the life that God has blessed me with, and, whether I feel adult or not, maybe I can have a child-like heart and a new perspective.

One Meal

2010-11-29T16:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is not easy to figure out what to feed my kids. My son isn't that picky, but he often doesn't want to stop playing to eat. So, for dinner one night, I gave DS what I called a One Meal; meaning, there was one of a lot of different items:
string of cheese
grape
dried cranberry
olive
carrot
wheat puff
pickle
cheddar cheese cube
mandarin orange wedge
cheerio
'Daddy cereal' Quaker Oat Square
Ritz
gummy vitamin
macaroon
circle of bread with peanut butter on it
star puff
pea
cashew
raisin
slice of quesadilla
baby puff
marshmallow star

It was a big hit. He has asked for it many times, and he at least tries everything I put on the plate. It also gets him to the table without complaint.

I've also learned that calling something a silly name makes it more appetizing. Take for instance, Spaghetti-O's. At first they were car tires, and then they became train wheels when his interest waned. He ate up his "train soup" with gusto last night. Mission accomplished!

Sidetracked

2010-11-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

As an adult, I often get sidetracked from what I am doing and forget to go back. I also get distracted easily and my attention wanders. Is it any wonder that little kids so easily forget what they are doing?

I am often frustrated at my DS because he is taking his time about doing something. I remember watching a mom deal with her forgetful 4 year old. She reminded him gently what he was supposed to be doing and then said, as an aside, "The little ones get distracted so easily and forget. I have to remind them about their task so they can finish it."

It takes more patience on my part than I think I have. But I have to remember, it is not defiance from my DS, it is just a trait of being three. I am trying to patiently and gently remind him of his task. Often, I find myself asking him, "Did you forget what you were doing? Do you need a reminder?" If I use this tactic, he usually says, "Oh yeah!" and goes on to continue his task.

It has taken me almost 30 minutes to write this because I have many distractions in my house. Not just kid distractions, but kitchen, laundry, bathroom and cleaning distractions. I however, am old enough to know that I need to finish my task. My job is to instill that knowledge into my children, and to do it gracefully.

Lord, help me to remember that my frustrations at my DS are something I have control over. Help me remember that he is only three and that the forgetfulness is part of the territory. Help me to remember to be gracious to my son.

Thanksgiving Day

2010-11-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

All my life, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Even when I went back to finish my bachelor's degree, all of my classmates knew that I wanted to have babies after I graduated.

Well, I have achieved my dream. I have been a wife for 10 years and a mom for almost 4 years. I live in a house with a backyard and I get to stay home and take care of my family and household. I love my life.

It is a good to remind myself of this every once in a while. Today, my children are getting on my nerves, I have ruined part of our Thanksgiving dinner, and my husband is at work.

God has chosen me to be the mom of these children; chosen me to be the wife of my husband; chosen me to be privileged enough to stay home to raise my children; chosen me as one of His children.

I am glad we have a national holiday that reminds us to give thanks. I often think that, as an American, I take my life for granted. I wish we had a little larger house so my kids didn't have to share a room, a little larger yard so they could have room to play and I could have a garden. My pastor often reminds us that as long as we have food, clothing, and shelter, we are better off than 3/4 of the world. I must remember to be thankful for what God has blessed me with, because it is His gift to me, not what I deserve. God's grace is sufficient for me. Another way to say that is that I am blessed with more than I deserve, and I should not complain about the presents I have been given.

It is a good reminder, as my children scream at each other, that I have been blessed. That God has given these children to me to teach me about His blessings.

Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have given me. Help me be mindful of them and not take them for granted.

Mercy and Grace

2010-11-24T19:24:00.000-08:00

Mercy: Not getting the punishment you deserve
Grace: Getting something good you do not deserve

My MOPS meeting last week had a large impact on my mothering. The speaker gave so much practical advice and words of wisdom that I am still processing it.

She didn't come armed with only her own wisdom, but she asked her friends for their wisdom as well. She said the responses were from women ranging in age from the early 20's to the late 80's. One of the ladies gave this advise: have boundaries cloaked in grace.

At first this stumped me (and I am still muddling through the meaning). I have boundaries for my children. But what does it mean to have them cloaked in grace? It means that I need to model and verbalize grace and mercy towards my children. And how do I do this? By allowing a little flexibility in the discipline zone. [I realize I should explain that I am talking about dealing with my 3 yr old. My 1 yr old still needs the consistency of discipline every time.]

The other day, my dear three-and-a-half-year-old son lied to me. It was an out and out lie, and he knew it. It deserved discipline, and he knew that as well. But I told him I was going to be merciful to him and not give him the discipline he knew he deserved. I also told him that next time he lied to me like that, I was not going to be merciful to him, and he was going to have consequences.

Then yesterday, grace happened when I gave my DS the hot chocolate he wanted, but did not merit, due to a bad attitude that morning. I realize now that I should have told him I was being gracious to him and explained about grace, but I didn't. I eagerly await the next opportunity to model and verbalize mercy and grace to my son.

Gentleness

2010-11-23T18:03:00.000-08:00

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

I'm learning that not only does a gentle word turn away wrath, but a gentle tone of voice. When I speak to my kids with annoyance in my voice, they respond with either annoyance or anger. And this just makes me more annoyed. But I've found that when I speak softly and with a gentle tone, not only do they listen better, but their anger is often diffused quicker.

DS has been having attitude problems lately. Namely, he is refusing to do what he was asked to and defiantly saying, "No, I don't want to do it." This is not acceptable, and it is frustrating my husband and me. I'm still not sure exactly how to deal with this attitude, but speaking to him with gentleness and love helps the situation. Because while he may still be defiant, my own heart is not responding in kind, and that helps my attitude.

I am not a gentle person by nature, so God is helping me remember that I need to be gentle to my children. Using a soft and gentle tone of voice is helping all of us to have better attitudes.

Sibling Squabbles

2010-11-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

My kids are starting to fight with each other. It is usually the older one taking something from the younger one.

At MOPS yesterday, the speaker addressed the issue of sibling squabbles. She said that once they are verbal, you should be teaching them how to work out their problems. She gave the example of her own kids saying that she was not in a position to figure out who was right or wrong, they needed to figure it out between them, because if they didn't, they would both have consequences. She said that changed their attitudes fast, because if they were both to have consequences, no matter who was wronged, they worked things out quickly, or just forgot about it.

Pre-school teachers in Japan rarely intervene in arguements between the children. They observe them to make sure violence doesn't erupt, but they let the children work out the situation between them. And the kids resolve the issues on their own. If one child hits another, the other children show empathy to the hurt one and once peer-pressure gets to the offender, that child will apologize.

I've decided to take a step back from my children's squabbles and see what happens. So far, they have worked out most of the problems on their own. Now, if I can just remember not to step in just because I'm annoyed, this might work!

No Yelling

2010-11-18T18:40:00.001-08:00

I have managed not to yell at my kids today.

I managed to stay calm when my son put a blanket over his sister, which he has been told repeatedly not to do. I managed to stay calm as both of them were crying, she because he had scared him, he because I was mad at him.

I managed not to yell when DS was fooling around (after being told to stop) and spilled a full cup of milk on the floor. I managed to stay calm as I cleaned it up and he wouldn't stop asking me questions about what I was doing, showing me what I had missed, asking why the milk spilled.

The only time I did yell today was when he almost shut a drawer on his sister's fingers, and it was a scared reaction, not really a frustrated yell.

As I write this, DS is in a time out for disobedience again. Still, I didn't yell. It seems my calm demeanor is a little confusing to him, he doesn't know what to make of me. It certainly gets his attention, though, and he knows I mean business.

Lord, help me stay calm and steady in the face of trying situations. Now I have to go get my son and talk to him about the mercy he is going to receive in place of discipline for his disobedience that caused spilt milk.

Frustration and Patience

2010-11-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

At my MOPS meeting today, the speaker, a mom of a 16 and a 20 year old and owner of a Gymboree play gym, said something that really made me think. She gave the example of an infant having tummy time. She said that if you rush to the baby and pick him up every time he fusses, you are doing him a disservice. He needs to learn to work through his frustration.

While I am past that exact point, I do find myself rushing to DD or DS's aid when they need help or are frustrated. DD especially, screams when she gets frustrated, which she does very quickly, and so I come to her aid just to get her to stop screaming.

I did a little experiment this afternoon - I let her scream. And you know what? She tried again, screamed again, tried again, screamed again, tried one more time and succeeded at her task. Another time she kept failing and just moved on to another occupation.

I am constantly telling DS to have patience. I need to listen to my own advice and be patient with my frustrated kids and let them work out the problem on their own.

Wow.

2010-10-21T20:13:00.000-07:00

My 10 month old DD had her first down and dirty temper tantrum today. Talk about a stereotypical tantrum: threw herself face down on the floor (from sitting), kicked and pounded the floor while she screamed and turned beet red.

What am I in for???

Oh, and because I know you are curious, she handed a toy to her brother which he then took. She immediately threw herself on the floor. She went to a short time-out in her crib. My poor DS was not at fault for this in the least (though there are times when he is the reason for her screams).

Spinach Crusted Quiche

2010-10-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

SCD, Gluten Free

Plan to start two hours ahead of mealtime. Prep time is about 30 minutes hands on, and an hour cooking/resting time. You can cook ahead of time and then warm it up in the oven.

Crust:
16 oz frozen spinach (or 1 bunch fresh to make one crust)
2 tsp canned diced green chilies
1/4 tsp garlic salt (or regular salt)
1/4 c almond flour

Thaw spinach in a sieve, or microwave & then drain. Spray a pan with oil and saute drained spinach, green chilies and garlic salt for a few minutes until hot. Remove pan from heat and stir in almond flour.

This is enough to make two crusts, or I like to use half to make 12 mini quiches, which are perfect for mornings. Take half of the mixture and press into a buttered or oiled pie pan, going halfway up the sides. Bake at 375F for 25 minutes. Meanwhile, make the filling.

Filling:
I use ingredients I have on hand, which is part of the charm of quiche. You can add any vegetable you like and have on hand.

1/2 medium onion, chopped
1/2 bell pepper, chopped
(other good veggies to add: mushrooms, shredded carrots, shredded zucchini, diced potato)
3 strips of bacon, crumbled
1/2 c crumbled, cooked sausage (NOTE: I don't use both meats in the same dish, I just usually have one or the other on hand)
1/4 tsp dry oregano (1 tsp if fresh)
2 cups grated cheese (I often use a combo of cheddar, jack, Parmesan, and Romano)
6-8 beaten eggs
1/4 cup yogurt (make your own or buy yogurt with only milk and probiotics as ingredients)
pinch of cayenne
paprika
salt to taste (when using bacon or sausage, I have found I don't need to add salt)

Saute vegetables in oil or butter, add the oregano and cayenne after a few minutes. When veggies are soft, place on top of crust and spread cheese over the veggies. Beat the eggs and mix in the yogurt. Pour over the cheese. Dust with paprika.

Bake at 350F for 35 minutes, or until set.

Allow to cool for 15-20 minutes before cutting and serving.

Mini quiches freeze well. I put them in the refrigerator once they are cool, and then put them in a gallon zip bag with a paper towel between the layers and then freeze.

Stuffed Acorn Squash

2010-10-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

Egg free, dairy free (if vegan cheese used), gluten free, SCD

2 Acorn Squash
2 cups breakfast sausage, crumbled
2 cups shredded cheese - I use a combo of parmesan and cheddar

Halve the acorn squash and seed (I like to save the seeds and roast them). Place cut side down in a large oven safe dish and add 1/2 inch water. Bake at 350 for 25-30 min, or until squash is easily poked with a fork.

Remove from oven, carefully take squash out and empty water. Place squash back in pan cut side up. Fill with layers of cheese and warmed sausage, and top with more cheese.

Broil on low for about 5 minutes until cheese bubbles.

Serves 4

Imposing our Norms on our Children

2010-05-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

It is interesting to me how we impose our norms (things we consider normal) onto our children.

The other day, at my mom's group, we were discussing how to install infant car seats and how the bar and the shade should never be up while in the car (see the note below for further explanation). One of the moms wondered how her baby would play with the toys that she hangs from the bar. Another mom worried about the sun getting into her baby's eyes.

I realized that neither of these concerns was really something to worry about. Babies are not going to get mad because the don't have a toy dangling over them. For one thing, they are still fascinated with the world. For another, you can just give them the toy instead of hanging it over them. As for the sun shining in their eyes, babies just close their eyes. It doesn't bother them as much as it bothers us.

DD loves to watch the ceiling fan. DS likes to dip his peanut butter sandwich in ketchup. My friend's first grader loves to play in the rain and get soaking wet. None of these things are appealing to me as an adult, although they probably were when I was young.

I figure that if the kid isn't complaining, the situation isn't bothering him. We (I) need to stop and consider: is the situation really bothering my child, or is it just bothering me?

Note about car seats: The carry bar on an infant car seat should always be down when in the car. Infant car seats are designed to rock towards the seat in a car crash. If the bar is up, it can hit the seat, stopping the rocking motion of the car seat and causing whiplash on the baby. As for the sunshade, if it is forward during a crash, the plastic ribs can shatter when the sunshade hits the seat (this actually doesn't concern me too much, I would think the fabric would keep the shattered ribs from flying). But the most important thing is to strap your child in correctly (which means tight!). I strongly suggest you go to www.seatcheck.org to find a child seat inspector.

Fennel Crusted Pork

2010-04-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Gluten free, egg free, dairy free, SCD legal

I buy a large pork roast and have the butcher cut it into 1/2 lb sections. Often they will wrap them individually for you so you can freeze them. Pull the roast out of the freezer and refrigerate two days before you need it.

Use in season veggies for a less expensive dinner. Choose enough for about two handfuls of veggies per person. I usually cook carrots, onion, and then two or three other options:

Veggies I've used:
(lighter veggies)
1 zucchini, cut in 3" strips
1 bunch asparagus, snapped
bunch of mushrooms
(hearty veggies)
1 medium sweet onion
3 carrots, cut in 3" strips (or a bunch of baby carrots)
1 sweet potato, cut in 1/2" chunks
1 med russet potato, cut in 1/2" chunks
(I can't eat potatoes, but my husband and son love them, so I just make sure they are not touching the other veggies I can eat)

about 1/2 pound pork tenderloin
2 Tbsp fennel seeds, crushed (if you don't have a mortar & pestle, use a heavy pan. They only need to be crushed enough to be fragrant)
3/4 cup apple juice or cider
2 tsp honey

Heat oven to 400*. In a large bowl, toss the hearty veggies (carrots, potatoes, onion) in oil with salt and pepper to taste. Roast on a rimmed baking sheet for 10 min.

While the veggies are roasting, using medium heat, heat a skillet with about a tsp of olive oil. Cut the pork in half (if over 2" thick) and season with salt & pepper, and then coat with the fennel seeds. Cook the pork in the skillet on all sides, until browned.

Put the lighter veggies into the large bowl and toss with oil, salt and pepper. After the hearty veggies have been roasted for 10 minutes, put them back in the bowl with the other veggies until the roast is almost done.

Place the roast on the baking sheet and bake for approx. 20 min, or until inner temperature reads 165*. (I had to experiment with the times here. My roasts always took longer to cook than I thought, but then, my oven is a little screwy) Once temp reads 165*, put all of the veggies on the baking sheet and cook for 10 min or until they are browned and the roast's internal temperature reads 170*.

While the rest of the veggies and roast are cooking, wipe out the skillet and put in the honey and apple juice/cider. Over medium heat, bring to a boil and whisk until reduced by half, about 4 to 6 minutes. Serve with the pork and veggies.

Breakfast Sausage

2010-04-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Gluten free, dairy free, no eggs, SCD legal

Sausage in the stores often has nitrites and MSG. Here is an easy recipe for your own breakfast sausage. Hands on time is about 45 minutes, if you cook the entire batch at once.

3 lbs ground turkey
1/4 c warm water
3 tsp rubbed (powdered) sage
2 1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 tsp freshly ground black or green pepper
1 3/4 tsp marjoram
1/2 tsp savory
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cayenne
1/4 tsp ginger

Put turkey in a large bowl. Add all the other ingredients to the turkey. Knead the mixture (hands work best, but you can use a spoon) just long enough to mix spices evenly.

There are different ways you can cook the sausage:

Patties: Put a small amount of oil in a pan and fry until brown on both sides

Patties: Place patties on a rimmed baking sheet and bake at 350* for 10 min. Flip patties and bake for additional 10 min

Pieces: Cook in a skillet until browned, stiring and separating frequently

Uncooked sausage will keep in the fridge only for a day. You can freeze small raw packets for future use, but I recommend cooking the entire batch and then freezing it. I thaw cooked patties or ground sausage in the microwave for 30 sec and then put them in the skillet to finish cooking.

Cheese Crackers

2010-04-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

Gluten free, egg free, SCD

One of the hard things for me about going grain free, was giving up crackers or chips. Then, someone introduced me to cheese crackers. And, they are MUCH easier than I thought they would be!

Spray a glass baking dish with olive oil, then put layer thin slices of cheese, or grated cheese, in the dish. Microwave until cheese is very bubbly. Remove dish with a oven mitt (dish will be hot), and tip the dish up so the oil drains to one corner, then mop up the oil with a paper towel. Let the dish cool for a minute or two and lift the cheese with a spatula. You can break it up into cracker size pieces.

Commiseration, Not Condescension

2010-03-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

For me, Facebook is a great tool. It is how I keep in touch with my family and friends who are spread across the country and the world. I am not very good at phoning people, but I am good at emailing, blogging, and keeping my profile up to date on Facebook.

There is a catch, however. You cannot read tone of voice. So, when I post a status update like, "My daughter slept through the night, but my son woke up three times," people may not understand that I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact.

Regardless of whether or not I'm complaining via my status (which I try not to do), I do not want condescending or veiled passive-aggressive comments left by my well meaning friends.

To the status update above, my currently childless friend commented, "It may not seem like it now, but they will eventually sleep through the night." Yes, I know that. Barring sickness, I do not anticipate waking up at all hours of the night when my kids are in grade school. For some reason, her remark really irked me, but then, I should know better than to take it personally, because that is just who she is: well meaning, but often times comes off as condescending.

By posting my status, I was not asking for trite reassurances that my kids will eventually sleep through the night (especially from people who don't have kids). I was just looking for commiseration from people who are or have been there. And I did get the commiseration I was looking for. I also deleted my friend's comment.

Now who is passive aggressive?

The Phenomenon of Sleep

2010-03-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

It is an interesting phenomenon, and one I find rather amusing (once I'm past the event). My DD slept through the night last night: 8:00 p.m. to 6:45 a.m. She didn't make a peep. However, my DS woke up crying a few times and needed comforting (he's having nightmares), and my bladder woke me up a few more times.

This afternoon my DD took a two and a half hour nap, something she hasn't done in the last few months. However, my DS played in his room and whined very loudly for me to come and get him. He has a two hour quiet time every day. I don't usually care if he naps or not, as long as he plays quietly. I thought today I would get at least a 45 minute nap, but since DS decided NOT to play quietly, I closed my eyes for 45 minutes, but didn't sleep.

I know that some day, I will sleep through the night without being woken up by one of my kids, but that seems a long ways away. Who knows, my bladder may wake me up every night until the day I die. At least I can go to the bathroom while half asleep. It is difficult to bottle feed a baby or comfort a crying toddler when half asleep. Someday . . . probably a long time from now . . . I will get enough sleep.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I am NOT complaining. It is just a fact of my life right now. I know there are other moms out there who are in the same situation and I just thought I would share to let you know, you are not alone.

About Time

2010-03-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

Today my son turns three years old. It seems like the time has gone quickly, and yet, at the same time, dragged on by. The mornings like the one I had today are the ones that drag by: my son is whining and crying in the corner where I put him in time-out for having a bad attitude, and my daughter is screaming because she needs her diaper changed and is tired. These are the days where the second hand barely moves.

Then, there are days like Saturday, the day we had a birthday party for my DS. Two hours into the party and I realized it was time for the guests to leave, but we were having so much fun I decided to feed them instead. Four hours later, as we are cleaning up the aftermath, it seemed like the day had just whizzed by.

I realize that my DD will be rolling over and crawling before I know it. However, it seems that while I am living in the moment, time moves very slowly. And then I look back six months to when she was born and think, That can't be possible, wasn't she just born a few weeks ago?

Time also races by when I am trying to get something done. One day, and then another go by, and I realize I haven't done anything! How did the days escape me so fast?

Seeing how quickly time can pass me by reminds me to cherish every moment I have with my kids and my family. I won't always have these moments, and once the kids grow up, all I will have are my memories, so I want to make them the best memories I, and my kids, can have.

What Happened Today?

2010-02-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

How can a day be so busy and yet so un-productive? At least, it seems that way.

I went grocery shopping this morning and eleven hours later, I've just finished putting the groceries away.

I am trying to workout everyday using the Wii Fit. My 30 minute workout turned into an hour long session because DD decided to fuss and not sleep or eat. I hope she gets a tooth soon so that the crankies can be explained.

I took the kids for a walk. DS wanted to see the construction site, so we walked down there and then invited a neighbor over for a play date on Thursday (something I've been meaning to do for at least a month now). DD took a catnap during the walk.

After our walk, I tried to feed her again, because, again, she was fussy, but she didn't want to eat. So I loaded the kids in the van and we went to the library so I could pick up some books I had on hold.

The way I get DS out of the library without a melt down is pure bribery: McDonald's. There is a reason we go to the library on Tuesday evenings, the Happy Meals are $1.25. However, the drive through line was VERY long and DD was screaming, because, I guess she decided she was hungry after all. So, instead of hamburgers, I got an oil change. Nice trade, huh?

While they were changing my oil, I fed DD a bottle and DS a fruit leather. I was hoping it would tide both of them over until we could get to McDonald's and then home. It worked. (Insert big smiley face here)

Once we were home, I plopped DS in front of the television while I put DD to bed. It was a good choice in the shows I let him watch because Clifford and his friends were cleaning up their toys, and we just transitioned into cleaning up DS's toys. That worked, too!

Finally, both kids were in bed and on their way to sleep. I looked around at the house and thought, what in the world did I do all day? My daily To Do list has laundry checked off only because DH did it. Oh, and I got the mail (which, evidently I haven't done for about a week - the box was full!) - sorting it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Christmas Blessings

2009-12-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas time.

Tonight I drove my kids around town to look at Christmas lights. Gibson was thrilled with all the pretty houses (Tabitha slept the entire time, thankfully). He even called one house a beautiful castle.

We listened to Christmas songs and even sang a few while we drove along. The evening was foggy and the lights seemed to glow with a special radiance.

It was a simple way to spend an evening, but it was joyous. I love Christmas time because the neighborhoods dress in their best, the songs on the radio are all cheery, the smell of cooking and baking fills houses. But most of all, I love Christmas time because it seems as if the entire world is celebrating my Savior's birth. It is a special time, indeed.

The Bad Day Blessing

2009-12-17T19:29:00.000-08:00

Today has been a bad day that culminated in a horrible evening. My whiny two year old wouldn't stop crying. My two month old would wake up after a 30 minute nap and want to be held.

This evening I yelled at Gibson when he yelled NO at me and hit me with his fist. I sat him in the corner where he and cried and cried and cried while I tried to feed a crying baby. Finally I had enough. I set her in her crib (fortunately, she was happy at that point) and carried my sobbing son up the stairs, changed him into his pajamas and put him on his bed. Then I told him that I couldn't handle him right now and I shut his door and went to my room and sobbed to the Lord.

I knew that part of Gibson's behavior was a reflection of my behavior. I really needed a nap today and wasn't able to take one because Tabitha was fussy. That just put me on edge for the evening. I opened up the Psalms and tried to find something to calm me down. I can't remember what I read, it was somewhere around Psalm 80, but I did get some calmness out of it.

Then I heard Gibson sobbing my name. That just melted my heart. I went in to him and picked him up and just hugged him as I rocked in the chair. I told him that I was sorry I yelled at him and I was sorry I got frustrated, and that I love him. He then told me that he was happy. I asked him why he was happy and he told me that he was happy because he had his mommy. I think at that point my heart pooled on the floor.

I sang him a song that I could barely choke out for the tears in my throat, and put him back into bed. I prayed with him and told him I love him and left the room again; only this time, it was with a joyful heart instead of a tearful one.

Tackling Mount Washmore

2009-12-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Laundry is something that needs to be done. I have tried many different ways to tackle Mount Washmore, as FlyLady calls it. I haven't yet found my groove.

My DH likes to do all the laundry on one day. Just crank it out, one load after the other. FlyLady says to do one load every day, that way it's not overwhelming. I tend to do a load every day for a few days, then get really behind and do 5 loads in one day. Then because I have done five loads, we have clothing to wear and I don't do a load the next day, even though there is probably enough dirty laundry to do one. So a few days pass, then I do a load, and then the next day I do another, but then the next day I have to do three more loads because I'm out of long sleeve shirts. And so it goes.

I just need to figure out something. MAYBE, if I keep busy, I won't have this problem. If I do my JOB and keep my house running smoothly, we won't run out of clothes to do and I won't get frustrated with the huge piles of clothing mounded in the corner of our bedroom. So, to answer my unspoken question on how to do my laundry: I should do one load every day and that will be one of the things that keeps me busy.

In the meantime, I need to do a bunch of loads today to catch up from a week of no laundry. It's difficult to do laundry when you have company . . . not to mention Christmas!

Good Days

2009-12-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

I was praying this evening, telling God about my day. I told Him that today has been a good day; a busy day, but a good day. Then I realized, and hardly dared to think it aloud, that if I spent all my days as busy as I did today, then maybe I would feel as good about my days as I do today.

I am getting my house ready for a weekend boutique. That means a lot of cleaning and organizing and getting the gifts ready for display. In other words, I have been very busy today. But I wasn't frustrated or stressed out. I had a good day. I played Christmas music, burnt a vanilla candle that has scented the entire house and had a good time while I've been busy. And now I'm tired, but it is a good tired, like an I-have-accomplished-something tired. I had a very busy day and it was a great day.

So, the lightning bolt that hit my thoughts is this: maybe I won't be so bored and restless if I keep myself busy. There are so many things I can do around the house. I probably would have more time to set up for my boutique if I had been busy earlier in the week cleaning up the messy places. I don't like to be stressed and rushed about things. And yet, I procrastinate so that I am rushing around at the last minute being stressed. It's like adrenaline for me, in a sad, twisted sort of way.

But you know, today gave me an adrenaline rush too. And it was a much better rush than the last-minute-freaking-out rush. I should try this more often!

Closet Confessions

2009-12-03T15:29:00.000-08:00

Just before my husband left on his business trip, he cleaned out his side of our walk-in closet. (Walk in is about all you can do. If you want to shut the door, you have to lean into the clothes.) There are a few bags waiting for me to take to the thrift shop.

So, since he is due home tonight, I decided to tackle my side of the closet. I have too many clothes and too many shoes. I know this. The problem is that I don't want to get rid of the things that don't fit, but still look good, because I AM going to lose weight.

So I put all the clothes I want to save into space saver bags and got rid of all the clothes that I don't like or that have armpit stains. (No matter what, I can't seem to get rid of those!!) I also got rid of all the shoes that aren't comortable or I don't like, or my husband doesn't like. It wasn't actually that many pairs of shoes. There are a few that I want to wear again to see if I really want to keep them or not.

So, my DH will come home to a clean closet and a fresh bed. Unfortunately, he will also be coming home to a wife with dirty hair. I did shower this morning, but neglected to wash my hair because I didn't want to get up when my alarm went off. And that laziness will have to be another post.

You've Made Your Bed . . .

2009-12-01T15:28:00.000-08:00

One of the household chores I dislike is making the bed - or to be more specific, washing the linens and THEN making the bed. Oh, our bed does get made (almost) every day. I drag the sheets & comforter up every morning so that there is a smooth surface to dump stuff on. And I straighten out our pillows: the two our heads rest on and the two body pillows. Forget all the decorative pillows, what's the point? You can't use them. Martha Stewart I am not.

As to the actual changing of the bed linens, it happens once every two or three months. I am actually ashamed to write that. I just hate putting the linens back on the bed. I always end up with a crick in my back and all sweaty from wrestling corners down and lifting the mattress up to tuck the sheets under. We're lucky the sheets get changed every other month or so.

Since my husband has been away on a business trip this week, I decided it would be nice for him to come home to a fresh, clean bed. So I stripped the bed and put all the linens into the washing machine. I decided that rather than waiting for all the wash to be done, I'd use some of the bed clothes we have in my hope chest. I figured it would save me a lot of time.

It took me forty-five minutes to make our queen size bed. I was looking at our bare mattress and wondered when it had last been flipped. I could actually see a curve to the mattress, so I knew it had been a while. Have you ever flipped a mattress by yourself? With a toddler trying to help? My son was trying to climb on the box spring while I had the mattress up on end. And I was also trying to keep the dust ruffle from slipping as I slid the mattress back down into place.

Finally, the bed is made and I am sweaty and have a knot in my back, as well as a headache. I think I pulled a muscle in my neck this morning taking my mom's luggage down the stairs. Wrestling with a mattress and bed linens didn't help matters any. By the way, did I mention I also changed the linens on the guest bed? So, I hope my DH appreciates my efforts at giving him a fresh bed. I know he will notice; the sheets are a different color. I'm glad that chore is done with.

Reflections

2009-11-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

It's raining today. That is not unusual. I like this kind of rain. You barely notice it. In fact, I didn't even know it was raining until I saw drops hit my kitchen window. I can't see the rain fall unless I'm looking at an angle. There are no puddles on our slab, and it's not dripping from our malfunctioning drain. So, while it has been raining for quite a while now, I'm sure that we haven't received much.

It's not even very dark outside. The clouds are letting enough light in that I don't need to turn on the lights inside - just open the blinds.

It's kind of a ho-hum day outside. It is reflecting what I feel like inside today. I woke up with a bad headache, which has since gone away, but I think the headache started my nausea (or it could have been helping my son brush his teeth with toothpaste for the first time . . . eww).

The weather doesn't usually affect my mood. I think today my mood just happens to reflect the weather.

Patience & Frustration

2009-11-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

Being a parent requires patience. I always knew this, but it hasn't really manifested itself until lately. There isn't much reason to lose your patience with an infant - they don't purposly take their time with anything.

However, a two year old is much different. My son takes his time doing things. I ask him to put away his cars, and he does, but he has to do it in a very precise way. The cars have to drive over to the toy box, or they have to park in the garage.

There is no reason for me to rush him, I just want him to clean up so he can take his nap. But I still want him to do it as quickly as I would. So, as I was feeling frustration with him the other day, I realized that I had NO REASON to be frustrated with him. He was obeying, but he was doing it in his own way. He wasn't procrastinating either. The toys just had to go into certain places in the toybox, and sometimes the toy fell out, or went somewhere he didn't want it to go, so he had to move it . . . again.

As frustrating as it was to watch him, I refrained from doing his job for him. I also prayed and repented of my sin right away. I had no reason to be impatient or upset with my son. He is two, and he was behaving like a two year old.

I just heaved a big sigh and waited while he finished cleaning up his toys. I need to remember that this time will go by quickly, and to cherish the moments I have with him. I need to remember to be patient with him, as my Heavenly Father is patient with me.

Pill Popping Problem

2009-11-10T13:27:00.000-08:00

I've always had a problem taking my pills. I remember my mom trying to put my vitamins in applesauce. I was too smart for that trick. I also remember her pinning me against the refrigerator, sitting on me, and practically shoving the pills down my throat.

When I was 15 I was away at camp and got sick. The camp nurse gave me some antibiotics that were the size of my thumb. Needless to say, I didn't take them. Camp ended and I was to spend the week at a friends house. Her mom probably wasn't too happy that she had a sick child on her hands; one that wasn't hers. Most likely, taking those horse pills would have decreased the amount of time I was sick by half. Which means, I would have enjoyed the time I spent at my friend's house.

Today, I have to take medication daily. I am also taking pre-natal vitamins because I am nursing. I should also take a B-complex every day - I feel so much better when I do. And since I'm over 30, I should be taking calcium daily as well.

So that is a total of four varieties of pills, amounting to nine individual pills a day. Doesn't seem like it would be that difficult, right? The only pills I manage to diligently take are the three little pills my doctor prescribes for my Crohn's disease. I usually take my pre-natal vitamins at the same time. Now if I could only remember to take my B at breakfast and my calcium at lunch, I will be all set.

Maybe my mom should come and sit on me.

Mommy Time

2009-11-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I wasn't feeling well. I did manage to do the dishes and a load of laundry, but only because I knew that if I didn't do them, my husband would have to. And being that he works on Saturday, I didn't think it would be nice for him to come home and have to do chores.

However, my little boy was feeling great. He wanted to play. With me. I wanted to sit and read. But I am reminded of how fast he grows up, and what I am called to do as a mom. I knew that he was bored. I knew that he wanted me to get down on the floor and pay attention to him. But I wasn't feeling well, and it seemed that I just couldn't put my book down, so I'd tell him to go play with his cars, again.

So, after he had climbed on my lap for the 3rd time, I finally put down my book and I played with him. We drove cars around the blocks scattered on the floor. We built bridges to crumble. We giggled. We threw the balls. We danced to the music. And we had a great time.

After a while, he was involved in playing with the toys by himself, so I went back to reading. This time it was okay, because he had his Mommy Time, and now wanted to play by himself. Every once in a while, if I will just stop what I am doing (because it really isn't that important in the long run), and give my son the attention he wants, he will be happy, he will know he is loved and be fulfilled.

It is sort of that way with God, too. If I stop and spend time with Him, EVERY DAY, I am the one who will be fulfilled and not be longing for something more.

Overwhelming Mother Love

2009-11-07T07:40:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here nursing my 9 week old daughter as my 2 1/2 year old son climbs on my legs. He leans forward and does his 2-year-old jabbering/talking thing in my daughters face, and she doesn't like it. Neither do I. I'm having a hard enough time nursing her without my son making things worse.

Everyone says that when your newborn baby is put into your arms, you'll fall in love more than you ever though possible. That didn't happen with me. It was probably during his third month that I really started bonding with my son. He had been fussy and had a difficult time learning how to latch on to nurse.

It seems to be a repeat with my daughter. Of course, we're a little behind in our "bonding time" to begin with. See, she was born eight weeks early and was in the NICU for three weeks, during which I saw her once a day for her 9:00 p.m. feeding. I felt very detached from her in her isolette - but the story of her birth is another story entirely (see the tab at top of blog).

I know that I love my daughter, but right now, I don't feel much attachment to her. She annoys me. She is very impatient; sound asleep one minute and the next demanding to be fed. She works herself up into such a frenzy that she can't eat. I've practically given up breast feeding. I nurse her, and then I supplement her with formula, and then I have to pump, a process that takes about 90 minutes. I don't have the time or energy to feel love for her while I take care of her.

So, where is that overwhelming love that everyone says I would get when she was born? I hold her because she needs to be held, not because I need to hold her. My love for her is all wrapped up in meeting her needs, not in cuddles and kisses, like I give to my son. I love her unconditionally - I would die for my daughter, but I just don't feel that overwhelming mother love.

It will come, I know it will. Some early morning, while I'm wiping sleep from my eyes, I will look at her and she will make eye contact with me (after she has been fed), and I will finally feel that overwhelming love.

Laundry Depression

2009-11-04T15:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever looked at your laundry and thought, "Why bother?"

I have.

I did this morning.

I have mounds and mounds of dirty laundry sitting in a corner of our bedroom. And it's depressing. Unfortunately, I've run out of long sleeve shirts to wear, so I'm swealtering in a sweater. It's too cold to wear short sleeve, but not cold enough to wear a sweater, so I'll just suffer until I feel like doing the laundry.

That is so the wrong attitude to take. I shouldn't be doing laundry only when I feel like it. If I only did things because I "felt like it," nothing would ever get done! I need to do my laundry because I know that I'm not the only person in this house running out of clothes to wear. My goal is to do one load of laundry every day. That way it won't pile up on me and I will have to do five loads in one day just so we can all have enough clothes to wear. FlyLady gives this guideline so that we won't be overwhelmed with our laundry chores. Just like I am today. So, instead of sitting here typing, I should be doing my laundry right now.

Sigh.

Here I go, to tackle Mount Washmore.

In the Mood

2009-11-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Last night my husband was in the mood. I was not.

However, I knew he was, and that he had been all day. He gets home around 10:00 p.m. now, and I'm usually in bed. Last night I managed to stay awake until he came home.

Paul tells us to not keep our bodies away from each other. Sometimes I'd rather just roll over and go to sleep than please my husband. But if there is nothing wrong with me, there is no reason for me to with-hold myself from him. If I'm not in the mood, which is most of the time lately, I need to get in the mood.

I've learned that doing can often bring about the desire to actually do it. Such as in exercise, if I just start to exercise, then I usually want to, even if I didn't to begin with. I'm still struggling with putting others before myself.

I've been reading through Romans, and chapter 12 really spoke to me. I think of myself more highly than I ought, and I'm not always willing to sacrifice my body to God, much less my husband. I must honor others before I honor myself, and that is not an easy thing to do. But I'm working on it every day.

Panic

2009-05-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

I love that God has given moms this incredible ability to hold up under stressful situations, like when your child is bleeding profusely all over himself and you. After the situation is under control, then you can fall apart - hopefully into an understanding person's arms.

I have passed the test that every new mom dreads: the emergency room. It was not as bad as I anticipated. The nurses are all very understanding when there is a little child involved, and this particular hospital has special rooms for kids.

The doctor and nurses all said that my two year old son was incredibly good during the entire two hours of waiting and the 20 minute stitching procedure. Of course he was crying, but he wasn't screaming or struggling.

Something else God has blessed moms with: the ability to comfort. While my DS was laying down sobbing with fear and some pain, I started singing Jesus Loves Me. Amazingly, he immediately calmed down - I should have started singing right from the start. Something to note for the next trip to the emergency room.

Thankfully, the cut missed his eye by half an inch. I think I'll have some nightmares for a while about what could have been. I'm thankful that he wasn't hurt worse. However, we might be avoiding that particular play area for a while.

Oh, and the good part about that day? Just hours before the panic, we found out we were having a girl in October!

The Way Is Paved With . . .

2008-12-16T15:40:00.000-08:00

Why is it when I start my day with good intentions, they all fall to rot? As I was falling asleep last night I was determined to actually get up when my alarm went off so that I could get going on my day. I did get up when my alarm went off, but mostly because I was telling my DS to go back to sleep. I decided to take my shower anyway, even though I knew my DS would be complaining by the time I got out, which he was. I couldn't even get dressed without having to go in and tell him to lay down for a few more minutes. By 6:30, I had him downstairs feeding him.

Things have gone wrong all day long. I've been trying to get presents together to mail to my in-laws. I had to wrap my MIL's gifts so that she wouldn't see them. Try wrapping with a toddler wreaking havoc on the trimmings. I had one box almost wrapped and the paper tore. AAARRRGGG!!! I just slapped some more tape on the rip and finished wrapping.

Now I have a headache, my mouth hurts because of a zit that is making an appearance on my lip line, and I still haven't left the house. I have to also get ready to go out into the snow and cold. At least it's not as windy today as it was yesterday.

I did just now take the time to spend time with the Lord. But I still don't understand why my DS has to wake up before I do on days when I really want him to sleep. He woke up at 7:30 on Saturday and I had to wake him up to get ready for church on Sunday. Today would have been the perfect day for him to sleep because I was planning on showering and then doing my devos before he was awake at 6:30. Not a chance.

So, Lord, I'm hoping that I can remedy this day. I've been annoyed with my DS a lot and yelled at him too much. I've been too busy and annoyed to pay attention to him. Even now he is whining . . . again. I've got to go to the store today. Help me to remain calm and patient with him - and our cat. You wouldn't think a cat could be so bothersome, but she's been whining all day too!!

Exhaustion & Discipline

2008-11-11T22:08:00.000-08:00

I am exhausted. Emotionally and spiritually exhausted. Today was a very trying day with my 20 month old son. I spent an hour trying to get him to obey. He spent an hour crying.

Tonight I went to a study on how to be a Godly mother. The study itself was very good, but it was afterwards that I got what I really needed. In speaking with one of the older ladies, I discovered that I probably went about this morning's incident the wrong way, which I already knew (by the way, it wasn't just this morning - it has been the past week). I thought that I was teaching my son obedience, which I am trying to do, but more importantly, at 20 months, I am teaching him discipline.

So, next time, will be different. I am not going to waste my emotions, or his, on a long drawn out discipline process. I will help him do what I've asked him to do, and be done with it. If he needs to be disciplined for disobedience, he will be, but it will be immediate and then it will be over.

I'm through being emotionally drained after a long "fight" with my son. I've realized that I was making more of the problem than was really there. Deal with the disobedience and move on.

Fruit of my Labors

2008-10-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

My son is 19 months old, and I am going crazy. I'm sure every new mom feels like this. It was so much easier when he was just crying all the time and I felt like I would die from lack of sleep. Seems funny to say that now. At the time, I thought things couldn't get worse. But I now know that there are worse things than a major lack of sleep. Such as a toddler who has a mind of his own.

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE being a mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But right now I am not in the reward season - I'm told that comes later in life. I do get some rewards: the hugs I get every morning, the big giggles, the snuggles after his nap, the toothy grin when I read his books. I love that.

Sometimes I would like to see a little fruit from my discipline labors. That seems like it is a long time in coming. Discipline is a constant issue. And it is one that I cannot back down on. I have to win every fight. Sometime I would like to forfeit the fight, to give in. But I know that will make things harder in the long run for me.

This stick-to-it-ivness is not easy. The constant diligence. The consistency. The never wavering, even when all I want to do is give him what he wants, because that would be easier than listening to the crying and whining.

But I can't. Because you don't always get what you want in life. It is a lesson we all must learn at some point. Better now than later.

I must learn discipline in my own life. I need to do the laundry when I don't want to. I need to not eat that yummy lemon bar that has been sitting on my kitchen counter for 4 days (but if my husband doesn't eat it soon, I will!). I need to get up at 6:00 and get ready for my day, and not wait until my son wakes up first. In getting ready for my day, I need to spend quality time with God, because that is what is important.

Discipline is the opposite of laziness. I could be lazy and not discipline my son, but what kind of wild child would I have then? Probably one that no one wants to be around (and I've been around those). So, I need to stick to my discipline, of my son and of myself. It is hard, yes, but it needs to be done.